It’s The Rule
Women often have “rules” for men.
Here are some rules for women
from a man’s point of view.
• Shopping is NOT a sport. And
no, we are never going to think of
it that way.
• Ask for what you want. Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do
not work! Obvious hints do not
work! Just say it!
• We don’t remember dates. Mark
birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
• Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
• Anything we said 6 months ago
is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and
void after 7 days.
• If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we
meant the other one.
• You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already
know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
• I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.
What Denomination?
A woman went to the Post Office
to buy stamps for her Christmas
Cards. “What denomination?”
asked the clerk.
“Oh, good heavens! Have we
come to this?” said the woman.
“Well, give me 30 Catholic, 10 Baptist ones, 20 Lutheran, and 40 Presbyterian.”
By The Yard
Walking up to a department store’s
fabric counter, the pretty girl said, “I
would like to buy this material for a
new dress. How much does it cost?”
“Only one kiss per yard,” re-
plied the male clerk with a smirk.
“That’s fine,” said the girl. “I’ll
take ten yards.” With expectation
and anticipation written all over
his face, the clerk quickly mea-
sured out the cloth, wrapped it up,
then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer
standing beside her, and smiled,
“Grandpa will pay the bill.”
Things to Think About
Why can’t women put on mascara
with their mouths closed?
Why don’t you ever see the
headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery!’?
Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long
word?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is it called lipstick if you
can still move your lips after you
use it?
Why is it necessary to nail down
the lid of a coffin?
Why is what doctors do called
‘practice’?
Why is it rain drops, but snow
falls?
Why is lemon juice made with
artificial flavor, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the third hand on a watch
called a second hand?
Why is the time of day with the
slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn’t there a special name
for the tops of your feet?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored
cat food?
Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t
drink and drive?
Why is the man who invests all
your money called a broker?
Just For Fun
Gift & Home Interactive
August 2010
